How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
