I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
