i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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