Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I believe in your delicious
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
