Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize