How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
