great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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