he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
