Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
