ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
