fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
