just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I cut my penus on the lid.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
