You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
