is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
