worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
