do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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