I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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