So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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