Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
