Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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