come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
