She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Every concussion has its silver lining
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
