the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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