I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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