I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
organizing the empties. That sober.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
