If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's shark week go big or go home
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize