We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
