there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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