Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
