I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
