I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize