We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
