and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
love makes seman taste better
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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