Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Sorry about my life...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
