Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
