So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize