I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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