yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
