I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
