his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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