What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
