I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize