She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just found puke in my bra..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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