Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize