dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
