come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
