if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
