We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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