I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
whose parrot is this?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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