seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
