What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
