We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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