Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I will pee on everything he values.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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