how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
