babies were throwing up all over the place
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
